Meeting Our Deepest Emotional Need

THIS article will be about exploring and meeting our deepest emotional need — satisfying our soul’s hunger for intimacy. Such a hunger we ordinarily ‘satisfy’ by a substance or another person or a pastime or a thing. But the genuine satisfaction our souls crave can never come from without. It must always come from within.

Acceptance is an inside job. Rejection is also an inside job. The difference is in the self-esteem a person chooses to employ. This is easier for the one whose identity is in Christ.

The feeling of freedom, and of being in control, is a wonderful feeling, but it may be all too rare. The fact is we are free. We must just insist on experiencing it.

Feeling valued is feeling worthy and the feeling of worthiness is of such inherent value. This is the capacity to experience appreciation. The full soul can appreciate as well as feel appreciated.

Trusting others is easy for those who have self-respect. Their sense of dignity sees the other’s need. Dignity is the language of the soul.

Everyone has the need of feeling so accomplished at something they’re admired. Admiring someone can be the greatest single gift of thoughtfulness to bestow.

To care is to confirm a sense of safety to the vulnerable. To be pastoral is to care. Pastoral care, though a tautology, is the greater gift of encouragement sensing even the unknowable need.

Those who seek to listen to learn to understand learn more and know more truth. Those who don’t make time to listen are eternally vexed by a plain lack of understanding. The patience it takes to listen is the wisdom of a more direct path.

Every soul has the need of love, to give out love, and to hope. Souls starve for want of these three things. It is easiest to give our love out. That we can control. What we give out we can hope somewhat to receive. And hope is gorgeous in its time.

So many want a safe, ordered life that’s productive, useful and meaningful. It’s every parent’s wish and every child’s dream.

The soul craves satisfaction. It comes only from within. Yet we’re geared to look externally. Only the Spirit can satisfy the soul.

We can hardly hope to be forgiven if we’re struggling to forgive. But God knows the struggle we’re having. God loves a wrestler. Accept that forgiveness is a process that requires diligence every way, and the Spirit will lead you in that way.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.