Sneaking Up On Anger Before It Sneaks Up On Us

Anger is often a sneaky thing; we aren’t aware of it until it springs up within a presenting injustice. But the trouble is anger may take us over the top and our argument is quickly shot down in an abuse of the other person.

Somehow we have to become aware of the issues generating feelings of frustration, annoyance, betrayal and disappointment before anger becomes manifest.

Anger can be thought of as a response to us lying to ourselves.

If we try to pretend life is all okay when it isn’t, that sadness within will insist on being heard some way. We need to be honest.

Only when we are honest – as we take honesty into our devotional time each day – on the train, bus, or in the car, if need be – will we have enough awareness to think on a solution.

We can only manage our anger if we are being proactive in thinking on a solution. As we think more and more consciously, our unconscious thinking is engaged more and more. When we have our unconscious (or subconscious) minds working on something, we have more of a chance of developing a creative solution to innovate.

The truth is there are many, many possibilities for solutions. We just haven’t thought them up yet.

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Sneaking up on something that normally is doing the sneaking up is not as tricky as it sounds. If it’s anger that sneaks up on us, it’s anger we begin to watch for; the mounting sense of frustration, the complaints uttered under the breath, the repose of gratitude, or a sneaking sense of boredom or loneliness, etc.

Being mindful, we take up the habit of watching for ourselves any signs of attitude that precede anger. If our thinking starts to stink (“stinking thinking”) we know what to do. We have to take a proactive step.

With frustration we remind ourselves of the need of patience and we create the opportunity of space.

With complaint we remind ourselves of the great many blessings we have.

With disappointment we remind ourselves that there is a silver lining to every cloud.

With betrayal we remind ourselves that we, too, have betrayed people.

The moment immediately before anger is the last opportunity to arrest the slide. Only a good thinking stratagem will help; one that involves a creative action.

Anger is a justice issue. Think deeply about understanding the injustice and anger will have a solution.

The basic solution to anger is honesty. Honesty dispels anger.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.