Finding Yourself In the Pain of Grief

Opportunities for healing exist so very much in this life, but we rarely, if ever, partake. Life is too comfortable. What is not broken we daren’t fix, for fixing is a risk still too far to take. If there’s one thing that intuits fear in us it’s opening ourselves up to the vulnerability of the reality of pain – to feel it for what it is.

Ironies of paradoxes of mysteries of enigmas; a dramatic state of affairs is the fact that the ultimate of healing stands at our grasp in the midst of grief.

Facing Ourselves

Can you approach a mirror and look into it and accept that it’s you – a truly and wonderfully acceptable version of you – looking back?

Nobody in their right minds would reject themselves, for there is far too much of that that goes on by others.

But as we look back from the mirror there is the distinct possibility that we resist that one looking back at us. Is he or she a good person, a safe person, a trustworthy person, or, even for that matter, a person you actually know?

The mirror test is a key to the reality of our self-acceptance.

Where we need to get to – our goal – as we peer intently into the glass – is a place where there is nothing uncomfortable experienced as we see ourselves looking back. We could still think we are a little overweight or underweight or pimply (for just three instances) but there is nothing inhibiting our base felt experience of looking at ourselves.

‘Facing ourselves’ is the opportunity of a lifetime in grief. We must look there and approach it as if God were looking back at us from our reflection. Bear in mind as you do this that God will only love and accept you. So that person looking back at you is your partner, your guide, your best friend. He or she means no harm to you and desires everything you desire for good. They could never and would never betray you, because they are you!

Now we have learned to face ourselves, we are equipped to face the world.

Facing the World

Facing the world is made one hundred times easier when we have faced ourselves.

Having nothing more to fear other than the ever-present dangers in reality – those hazards we need to be aware of for our safety – we face the world simply aware.

Awareness is the greatest of tools for living the abundant life. With a mind to obey and heart committed to God, we are bound to take our awareness into the realm of action, and therefore growth.

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The greatest opportunity for facing our true selves is through heart-rending grief. Grief is a journey through hell to the discovery of new lands of self-acceptance.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.