Friday, May 11, 2012

Forgiveness, Having Been Misjudged


The world is thick with assumption. We all have our ignorant positions that we either claim or bear possession of. Many of these we may be conscious of. Some, however, we are not. Even deeper, the reasons why we bear such misjudgments usually completely elude us. Many misjudgments come from our own sordid material.
So, we can understand it a little better when we’re on the receiving end of being misjudged.
There are a couple of things we can do to productively handle the misjudgment.
Being Open To Self-Enquiry
Whenever we’re misjudged, despite being hurt, we have the opportunity of remaining open to self-enquiry so we can ask ourselves what elements of truth bear themselves for our observation in line with the accusation or judgment.
Any misjudgment, like any rumour, may have some portion of truth or reason for the thing to be said. For our own self-benefit we could explore all the available information and try to make an impartial assessment. It’s even better to get someone else, one who is totally impartial, to consider the information.
Most times we’re honest there is some work we can do; we also may have contributed to the misjudgment in some way.
Once we have done the self-analysis to satisfy our own minds regarding any signs of truth for the misjudgment, then we can work on what reason there could be for the other person to make such an assessment. Why would they see us this negative way? Is there some underlying motive attributed to the misjudgment.
Understanding As An Agency To Forgiving
A critical part to the forgiveness process, whether we seek to forgive ourselves or another person, is a portion of understanding. Once we understand why we or they acted a certain way, based on situational beliefs, and the understanding makes sense to us given the situation, forgiveness is made much easier.
This is how our empathy is informed and empowered. Once we understand things from their viewpoint, empathy becomes us, and forgiveness is no giant stride away.
If there is some sense of lack within them regarding us, something we may perceive as a threat to them, or they are acting on their own internal scripts (which we all do) and are using them in transference to us, then a misjudgment may be explained. Many sources of envy go on undetected within many people.
***
It’s hard to forgive people who misjudge us, but forgiveness is made easier when we understand why they misjudged us. It’s usually more to do with what’s going on in them. When we understand this, forgiveness is clearer and easier.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

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